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[09 Jan 2008|11:02am]
(written january second two thousand eight.)

as much as things seem different now - there are so many things that remain the same. i'm sitting here at 1:39 am listening to radiohead's new years webcast release. twenty-four and i'm still up past 1am listening to the same bands that i was listening to past 1am 9 years ago. only nine years ago i didn't have my husband sleeping in the next room or the world's best cat at my right hand side asleep on a table. yet i have the same satisfaction listening to this band - only in better sound quality than ever before (joe bought me some kick ass shure headphones for christmas, bless his audio obsessed heart).

this live recording of Faust Arp being played up on a hill top is ridiculously great. it looks and sounds and feels wonderful. radiohead, radiohead...thank you for not sucking with time. so many bands have come and gone in my life. speaking of which it's been a two or three years since i've made a top ten of the year (and what a busy year in music it's been):

1. Plague Park (Handsome Furs)
2. Good Bad, Not Evil (Black Lips)
3. Mens Needs, Women's Needs, Whatever (Cribs)
4. You, You're A History in Rust (Do Make Say Think)
5. In Rainbows (Radiohead)
6. Random Spirit Lover (Sunset Rubdown)
7. Person Pitch (Panda Bear)
8. Favourite Worst Nightmare (Arctic Monkeys)
9. Our Love to Admire (Interpol)
10. Neon Bible (Arcade Fire)

honorable mentions:
Fort Nightly by White Rabbits (great album, not so great live)
Smoke by White Williams (more than 50% great tracks)
Don't Go by Papercuts (many good songs, pretty bad live)
2 strikes| loftárása

in my in my head goin' MIA in my in my soul goin' MIA [24 Nov 2007|07:13pm]
1. The age you will be on your next birthday:

2. A place to which you would like to travel:

3. Your favorite place:

4. Your favorite object:

5. Your favorite food:

6. Your favorite animal:

7. Your favorite color:

8: The town in which you were born:

9. The town in which you live:

10: The name of a past pet:

11. Your best friends nickname:

12. Your nickname/screen name:

14: Your first name:

15: Your middle name: n/a
16: Your last name:

17. A bad habit:

18. Your first job:

19: Your grandmother's name:

20. Your major in college:

new doors, hallways, decade of life [19 Sep 2003|12:06am]
[ mood | rejuvenated ]

officially twenty today.

and this journal is officially friends only.

comment or add me & i'll do the same back.

9 strikes| loftárása

[16 Sep 2003|12:25am]
[ mood | ecstatic ]


i didnt even know MSG Theater had GA
what a fucking nice surprise

what do you have to say?

5 strikes| loftárása

rough & sad, to a light & happy morning [11 Sep 2003|12:44pm]
[ mood | grateful ]

i woke to joy division blaring out my alarm clock. walked downstairs, turned on the tv, heard all the names being listed, and i began bawling. i think everything that happened and what could have happened finally, finally hit me. after penting up all my feelings and refusing to talk about it...i realized that my dad honestly could have died two years ago today. it hit me so fucking hard i couldn't control my hysteria over it this morning.

my mother was on the phone with her brother in costa rica - i was unaware and screamed at her for not caring or talking to me, when i needed someone to talk to. after she got off the phone, we talked about it...and she made me feel a lot better about it. she then updated me, how she was talking to my uncle & how he has a rare thyroid problem and they thought it was cancer, but luckily it's not.

from there, the conversation took so many twists & turns covering: issues with the family on my father's side...about all the lost $$ in spain from my grandfather's will, my aunt alicia being a crazy selfish person & destroying her relationship with her brothers over money, how they are going to go to spain and sort that out slowly. to my cousin joanne and her trip to spain coming up, cassi & her problems and then it shifted to drugs.

i sat on my couch literally trying to talk my mom into trying pot with me. trying again and again how it's not as bad as she says, that she classifies it as a "drug" right alongside coke, heroin, etc. when it's totally different. she's so backwards and still refuses to try it to this day. i told her though, i'm going to slip it into a brownie or make a tea or something...i WILL get my mom high before i move out of this house.

she claims if i do, she'll throw me out of the house and i told her i wouldn't mind because i will find the whole thing so funny it wouldn't matter. i told her all about my veiws of how i don't find it bad, i do find excessive use of it is bad, how i tried pot before ever trying hash in spain [she thinks i tried hash for the first time last summer] - i pretty much gave her a little more insight into my drug life...only not mentioning how frequently/moderately i do it, or when i actually did first try it.

we were having breakfast when The Sounds of Silence came on the cd changer and i ever so carefully told her how Simon & Garfunkel are going to have a reunion tour. i told her not to scream or cry before breaking the news to her...but of course, she did both. i've promised i'll get her tickets, only she's telling me she wants GOOD seats. it'll be hard but i'll try my best. i think it would be really sweet to see them with my mom just as i've taken her to see Bjork & Sigur Ros. it would be all around cool if her, fo, & i went to the NY show together. just have to sort out the details.

so there was no school, only nice meaningful conversation with my mom who i love very much. i'll go to see joanne & give her the pictures for Maria tomorrow...after my mom & i go finish buying my books & eat some sushi. i love my mom.

2 strikes| loftárása

[10 Sep 2003|05:28pm]
[ mood | geeky ]

last night, i was so engulfed with affairs of the heart & more, that i wasn't able write a usual melissa-freak-out...when i heard that...


i don't give a damn about what one single person thinks, i'm way excited. the strokes do to me what no other band really does anymore, they make me feel 15. ooohhh the memories...the roadtrips with jenn, tavish, and fo. meeting michy & liz for the first time. meeting julie. halloween, new years, thanksgiving...and whatever other dates fell around the time of any of the 13 shows i've seen!

i cant wait to dance without a single care in the world, dance with such happiness like i haven't done so in almost a year.

yay. the strokes.

2 strikes| loftárása

right paths [05 Sep 2003|02:42am]
[ mood | grateful ]

there's nothing more reassuring than words expressed which shows that, that person really does care.

nor is there anything else that makes me happier.

so many people underestimate the greatness of an "i miss you".


no reason to return again [03 Sep 2003|11:16pm]
nothing quite like an expected breakdown.

[01 Sep 2003|11:49am]
[ mood | melancholy ]

although, i've been taking being back in NY as lightly as i can - and ive been doing a good job from not having too many breakdowns...it's still in my subconcious. it comes out in my dreams and makes my mornings hellish.

i woke up this morning from dreaming that i was running around villagarcia saying goodbye to all my friends. only these friends were people i knew in highschool. like meghan and theodora. the crystler building stood tall right in the middle of town. and i got lost on my way to Maria's. where i actually passed Danny Wai and some other kid talking about Melissa Tricarico...why the hell did i dream about fuckers from highschool? i mean really.

the night before, it was a re-enactment of my last night in El Recanto. only i found 2 nice full pieces of hash and decided to bring them with me on the airplane.

at least, at least i've had really great people to talk to and keep my mind off things. phonecalls have been helping out a lot. i was actually able to stay up till almost 2am talking to James last night!

talk about pushing off this remainder of my jetlag. too bad i woke up at 11 though.

my computer is still fucked. but my cell phone bill was sorted out, down to only $240 - oh YAY! and daddy did actually pay the tuition bill. i think today i have to go to Valley Stream...i'm not in the mood for it. i guess it'll be nice but highly depressing telling Cassi all about Spain this summer.

i really hope something fills up this hole in me, quick.

4 strikes| loftárása

yet another summer ending [28 Aug 2003|03:17am]
[ mood | short of breath ]

i´ve really got to stop this
it just hurts way too much
each time so much more

i have to do just as jacobo told me tonight
just move here...i belong here.
it´s honestly in my blood
here with my brother only not, diego
to find a husband, marry, and have little mes running around villa

i have so much spain in my blood that...it tastes like wine


fiestas [17 Aug 2003|05:14pm]
i´d write about them
but, i can´t...not really
perhaps a highly private post of what i can remember

it was spent white, highly fast paced, and hazy.
3 strikes| loftárása

killer barbies [10 Aug 2003|07:49pm]
there isnt a more relaxing way to spend a washed up sunday afternoon than listening to a little pavement.

the killer barbies played in the park last night
there was a lot of drinking done with the smoking
pabliño said he liked the cds
later in the night, around the castro-he said he loves the way i talk. the american-galician accent with all the galician slang. oh, isn´t that cute? yeah, it is.

killer barbies were great. SYLVIA SUPERSTAR IS SO HOT
i´d sleep with her
unless Camiño was around, like he was yesterday
that boy is too much, no matter how much of an idiot and bad news my friends say he is
shame he wasn´t at El Neptuno at 4am
but that boy Jacobo, that i met earlier last night at the park
he was there...he was so nice! and quite cute too!
i found out he has a kid! but good conversation is just that
hopefully he´ll spin at El Neptuno before i leave though

it sure sucked walking all the way home from El Puerto at 7am
i was still shot by that time
hah! yeah! cause i wore my green shirt, the one i wore to motherfucker and it brings me luck.
i smoked grrreat maruja twice
Jacobo [the original one] shared his stash from Amsterdamn
and later Paulini...hah, was that boy off his head last night.
well, he shared too - which was nice since he doesn´t sell

i should go get ready to meet mariña at el recanto
8;30 isnt so soon though...
i´ve still got half of a 10 to finish off
a place like el recanto should exist in new york
whoops, you can´t even smoke CIGARETTES IN BARS THERE

i´m going to settle down here one day, i will
i´ve been pulled aside twice in 2 days to be told this:
"of all the people in the world, you are one of the ones that i most trust" - diego
"you´re not 'melissa, maria´s cousin' you´re fucking melissa! my friend. of the list of people that i get along with the best, you´re up at the top" - sara

awww...and mariña saying how much it´ll suck when i leave. telling me i have to come back next year, to ortegada. saying i should just move here. i think within the next year i´ll figure that out exactly.
4 strikes| loftárása

that´s the way it is [06 Aug 2003|09:10pm]
[ mood | happy ]

just got back from the beach with sara & mariña
row row row row our canoe we did
all the way deep deep into the ocean
nothing like feeling the hot sun on your back
with a paddle in your hands splashing water

on the sand the following conversation took place
after i asked about the aparent druggie camiño [hot rock star looking boy that looks like conor here in villa]
mariña: ¿quien sera buena pareja para melissa?
sara: hmm
mariña: ¿conoces thelso?
me: si, era novio de isa
sara: pablito
mariña: ¡si! pablito
sara: pabliño
mariña: ¡¡si si, pabliño!!
me : -queue red face- no dijo nada

i then told them how i had a major crush on him last summer
mariña then went on to ask sara if he had a girlfriend and sara said no no. mariña then asked if i thought of coming back next summer...what exactly can she be thinking?

oh..and rayas el fiesta de augua. rayas. rayas. rayas. oh, si.
like anyone reading that has the slightest idea what that means

now to meet with mari & maria.


they do exist! [05 Aug 2003|01:00am]
[ mood | chipper ]

oh this cracks me up:

well write me back and let me know if u met any boys over there that u can send me back with u... jk
miss ya

You should really find yourself a hot Spanish boy or bring one back for me ;).

just a few days ago, diego and pablo were asking me if they could get girls quickly in new york for being spaniard. haha, latin lover as pablo says. he asked if i liked anyone & i kept quiet, i should tell him about pabliño - he'd flip. flipar mogoyon, no the jodes.

1 strike| loftárása

[04 Aug 2003|12:37am]
[ mood | happy ]

everyone who doesn´t respond my e-mails:


Rastafari adoration still continues.


anda hija [12 Jul 2003|10:58pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

i´m here! i´m here!!
all the nerves washed away once i landed in santiago.
mari (my dad´s cousin), jose manuel (mari´s brother), & julian (mari´s son) all came to pick me up.
before driving into Villagarcia we stopped in Padron, where Jose Manuel lives. we went to this great little bar where we went to get a drink. i love that about spain - you just go and stop at any bar to get a coke and a tapa or two at any time of the day...

i had my much anticipated KAS LIMON (better than fanta limon). as i told them i didnt believe i was actually in spain, until we sat there under the grape vines sipping our drinks and eating fried calemari, pulpo (optopus), and fried chorizo. yum...spanish food!

we then came to Mari´s and had a little lunch of fish and a nice salad. it was then that the unbearable sleep came over me and i went to take a ´nap´, only it lasted for 7 hours. i dreamt about mike, oh the surprise! i´ll save the details of the sweet words to myself.

they woke me at 10 when my father called and gave him the "i´m fine, i got here okay". Mari is now making tortilla de patata for dinner..and Julian, the funny fantastic 9 year old that he is...is cleaning the bathroom upon his own request for wanting to learn how to!

i´ll be staying here for a few nights as Marilo (dad´s cousin as well) is watching over her mother Lola (dad´s aunt) as she had a stroke about a week ago, luckily she´s doing well. Maria (Marilo´s daughter, like a sister to me) went off to the Ortegada Festival of Celtic music and will be back Monday.

it´s a saturday night and as much as i´d love to go ´round to El Castro and find all my friends and give them the surprise that i´m here and out and about...i think i will just stay in as i am still ridiculously tired.

*explaining who each person is, is more work than thinking of their faces. i know them all my face with name, and just as family...not relation!

mmm...now to that tortilla!

3 strikes| loftárása

[11 Jul 2003|03:54pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

all packed. showered. ready to go.

i've got my passport & ticket right in front of me
i just called mike and left a nervous yet informative message
ugh, that voice...blahyahdah...okay yeah

i hope everyone reading this has a fantastic summer
and i'm going to try my best not to get more nervous than i am
17 hours of travelling alone is somewhat nervous to me
though, it shouldn't be with all my travels around spain LAST summer
so...mmm...yes, i will update now and again if i have the time [and am sober enough to type]


p.s. sassmo i'll miss you so much!

2 strikes| loftárása

"it's time we grow old and do some shit" [11 Jul 2003|02:54am]
[ mood | thoughts the taste of his spit ]

i just read jess' entry, and AGAIN it was a bittersweet reminder of what we were up to one week ago.

*sigh* This exact moment last week I was going at it hot and heavy on the dancefloor with a gorgeous guy to Common People, Girls on Film, and other various hott as hell tunes. Should I call mr.park slope or leave a good hookup just at that? I'll decide over the weekend. I'm so glad the highlite of my summer was shared with Meyissa...us getting so lucky at the same EXACT moment=magic. ah my sweet romantic teenage nights.

the escalation of the dancing...of the heat
deadly. deadly. deadly.

my 17hours traveling/waiting in airpots to get to Villagarcia is going to be rough, i can feel it inside my body.


using good ideas [10 Jul 2003|02:38am]
[ mood | content ]

taking topacio's idea i too made a photo album!
everyone show the joy! i adore collections of memories in form of photos.


2 strikes| loftárása

[08 Jul 2003|01:36am]
[ mood | giddy ]

after fits of nervousness composed i called. after hearing that ring tone...but with a voice on the other line instead of a recording again, all was okay. such a boyish cute voice.

we chit chatted in a slightly awkward nervous way. it shrugged off and he asked if i wanted to hang out this week before i left.

plans are for tomorrow at 1pm in front of the MET.
he chose that time as the earliest that i suggested, saying "we don't want to waste the day". an entire hot summer day? feel the heat

aren't second impressions scarier than first...or perhaps just in these circumstances?
i was wearing & dancing in these

and he looked just like
only with a mesh hat. owyouch!

i need some sleep...and to find that goddam shirt!


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